Random Funny Solutions

A friend of mine sent this to me today - They made me smile.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES!
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape.

Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them!

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Imagine

Imagine the scene for a moment.  You and your friends have spent 3 years following the leadership of a spiritual man.  During that time, you saw and heard things that made you believe that he was everything he claimed to say about himself.  He was the Messiah, no doubt.  It was all true und you had witnessed it.  You yourself have actually done amazing things like the time he sent you and your friends out to do ministry.  While you were in the cities of Israel, you healed people, preached, raised people from the dead, and even cast out demons.  Your life would be forever different, wouldn’t it?

Imagine that you had just a couple of days before this spiritual leader was arrested, tried, and sentenced to die between two thieves.  You saw him hanging there.  You saw him hang his head and die.  You knew that some of your friends and acquaintances buried him in a tomb just before the Sabbath was to start.  Now it is two days later and some of these same friends have come to you with the news that this man’s tomb was now empty, the body was gone, and some of them even claimed to have seen him and talked with him.  Could it be true?

Imagine you are walking on a road with a friend as you together are going to a village outside of Jerusalem.  You and he cannot talk about anything but the last several days and 3 years.  You would say something then he would say something and the whole time you are absolutely astounded at the events in Jerusalem and how now, the death of this man has changed your life.  In the midst of the conversation, someone joins you on the road and innocently asks, “What are you talking about?”  You and your friend stop and look at him with sad looks and can’t believe this person has not heard of the events of the last days.  The whole city of Jerusalem is abuzz with the news, so how could this person not know.  Do they live in a cave? 

You briefly tell the story to the stranger to catch him up and it is obvious in your words and body language that you are devastated by what has happened.  To your surprise the fellow traveler begins to speak the story of God from Moses to all the prophets.  For about 5 miles or so he clearly speaks of the Messiah and you are moved by the man’s knowledge and understanding of the scripture.  You are so moved that you ask the man to stay with you in Emmaus since the day was late.

Imagine you are in a room and eating bread and the man takes the bread, blesses and breaks it, then hands some to you.  In that moment you see clearly, the stranger is Jesus and you have spent several hours of your day with him and did not even know it.  This you now know – Jesus is alive.

You turn to your friend and tell him how you felt during the time with Jesus.  While Jesus spoke of all the truths from Moses to the prophets, your heart burned and was alive as you came to a better realization that everything about Jesus was completely true and you were a witness.  You did not imagine it, for it was true.

 How can one sleep after this, so you and your friend arise immediately, no longer tired and go the 7 miles back to Jerusalem and found the 11 Apostles and you tell them that you have encountered the risen Christ.

 This story is found in Luke 24:13-35 and is an encounter of these men had with Jesus not long after he rose from the dead.  This is the one event that shows Jesus is above all religious leaders in the history of the world.  He conquered death and the grave and lives still.  That is why he is unique and above all.

The LIfe of a Democracy

Around 1787, Alexander  Tyler wrote about the life of a democracy, including its birth, middle age, and eventual death.  Tyler said that it takes about 200 years for a democracy to reach its highest height before it then reverted back to bondage:

Here are his observations:

• From bondage to spiritual faith
• From Spiritual faith to great courage
• From Courage to liberty
• From Liberty to Abundance
• From Abundance to Complancency
• From Complacency to Apathy
• From Apathy to Dependence
• From Dependence back into bondage

"Remember democracy never lasts long.  It soon wastes, exhausts and murders itself.  There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide."  John Adams, April 15, 1814

"I have long been convinced that institutions purely democratic must, sooner or later, destroy liberty, or civilization, or both."  Thomas B. Macaulay, May 23, 1857

Lessons from Rome

Edward Gibbon's six-volume The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire is one of the premier books and a classic in the realm of history.  His first volume was published in 1776, with the remaining volumes following over the next 12 years.  In all, Gibbon spent 26 years working on Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

Gibbon's careful scholarship and exhaustive research have survived the test of time. His facts and observations have truly stood the test of time.

Here is the summary of the reasons that Gibbon gives for the demise of Rome.  See if they sound familiar.

Five basic reasons why that great civilization withered and died:

 1. The undermining of the dignity and sanctity of the home, which is the basis for human society.

• Rapid rise of divorce
• Homosexuality considered more mainstream

 2. Higher and higher taxes –the spending of public money for free bread and circuses for the populace.

3. The mad craze for pleasure, with sports and plays (arts) becoming more exciting, more brutal and more immoral each year.

4. The building of great armaments when the real enemy was within –the decay of individual responsibility;

5. The decay of religion, faith fading into mere form—faith losing touch with daily life and whose leaders lost touch with life and their power to guide.

It can be said of our nation that we are seeing all 5 of these happening.  I share this for you and I to be informed people, who know the signs of the times and recognize things for the reality of what they truly are.  Pray for your city, state, and nation that a true move of God would come upon the people of God.  That is where the real change needs to begin.

 

 

 

 

Belief in the Son of God

One of the things that we definitely all know well is this:  Everyone we know, including ourselves, believes in something very strongly concerning life.  For some it is the the cause of the environment, for others it is government, while for others it is their own self determination, for some it is good works, and for many, they have some type of a religious belief system.  Everyone has some kind of belief system that guides them and shapes how they embrace and live it out life.  What would you say yours is?  What guides you toward purpose everyday when you get up in the morning?  What gives you strength to make it through when the storms of life roll in and come crashing down upon your world?  We all have a belief system and is yours strong enough to bring security in the deepest part of your life?  This is the topic for today.  Here is our passage of scripture for the week:                                                                                                                                                     14And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.16"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.  John 3:14-18  (emphasis mine)                                                                The true test of our belief system, I believe, is whether or not it is strong enough sustain us in every moment of our lives and free us from the condemnation that sin brings.  3 places here in these verses, we can see what belief in Jesus Christ can bring and we must ask ourselves whether or not our current personal belief system can bring these things that Jesus claims he can do.  I want to list them here for us to see better so that we can examine our belief system up against them.  Here we go:

1.     Belief in Him brings Eternal life – The bible says we all have eternal life, but the question is, where will our eternal life be spent, with him in heaven or in hell separated from Him.  For so many people today, they think that life on earth is the full extent of who we are, so why not live life to the fullest and do whatever you want to do.  But according to this passage, eternal life is completely based upon who we believe in and the person who it says we must believe in, is Jesus Christ.  It is not our good works or determination, but it is belief in him only.

2.     Our Belief must rest in Jesus Alone – Those who receive God’s eternal life, it comes when our faith in placed in Jesus alone.  It is not Jesus plus something else, but it is faith in him alone.  Where does your life philosophy rest? 

3.     Belief in Him frees us from Condemnation – This is significant as it speaks to something we all desire.  We want to know if God truly loves us and has a plan for us or are we, even if we have a personal relationship with Christ, consistently “in trouble” with him because we do not always make perfect decisions.  Do our wrong decisions place us immediately back in the path of his condemnation or are we protected from his wrath through the life and death of Jesus?  Faith in him brings freedom from condemnation and that is something that we all need to know.  That is what Jesus says here.  

Those things alone are enough to say to us that we need a personal relationship with Jesus.  He alone is God and it is he who died, rose, ascended, and is coming again.  No one else has done this or is coming back.  Let’s remember that our faith must rest “in him” alone and enjoy the freedom we have as we live in his love.  Are you “in Him” today?

Boldness in Prayer

Jesus once told a story of how important it is to be bold in prayer. Here is the passage in Luke 11:5-8:

"Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me 3 loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him'. Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything'. I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs."

The friendship between the two mean was not enough to move the man to get up and share his bread. It is something more that moves him to act in behalf of his friend. It is the boldness of the friend that made all of the difference. The man gets up and gives his friend as much as he needs. For me, I ask this question: Are my prayers to God marked with this kind of boldness? Where I am not afraid to come at anytime to ask God to move and act? That is the point Jesus is making. Are we going to quit praying because God has not yet moved? or .. Are we going to move him to action with our boldness?

Jesus now says this in verses 9-10, "So, I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks find; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened".

Jesus emphasizes that God is about answering, but are we going to ask, seek, and knock? I am asking God for these things: 1. Work full-time at the church ASAP 2. Reach the lost and disillusioned of our area 3. LifePointe would champion the glory of God and the down and out of our area. These are the bold things I am coming before God about and I will not let up.

Scriptural Perspective

I have been thinking of this blog for a couple of days and I honestly will not write much, but let the Word of God speak for itself.  As we look at today's events, we need to be reminded that whether things turned out the way we wanted or not the way we wanted - We need to remember that our hope rests alone in who Christ is.  Candidates cannot bring the real change our neighborhoods and our nation needs.  They never have been able to change the hearts of people.  Only Jesus can and in him our hopes must rest.  We should also remember that God did not want Israel to have a king, as he wanted to be their king and ruler alone.  When we allow him to rule, a person, a state, and a nation can find the real hope it desperately longs for. 

We still have the same issues this morning as we did yesterday as a nation, that only our sovereign God can heal and fix.  People will murder today, divorces will be finalized, adultery will be committed, angry words will be spoken, promises will be broken and people will lie straight to our face.  The hearts of man cannot be changed by earthly kings.  So, what do we do?

  

"So let us look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, despising its shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God".  (Hebrews 12:2)

So, here are some verses to remind us that our hope is in God.

"To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of his glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:27

"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people whom he has chosen as his heritage."

Psalm 33:12

"Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people."

Proverbs 14:34

"I lift my eyes up to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."  Psalm 121:1-2

"God reigns over the nations; God sits on his holy throne." Psalm 47:8

"The King's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will."

Proverbs 21:1